How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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