i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
