He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
