I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
