The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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