How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
