Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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