I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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