I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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