The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
