I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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