You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
