You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
