Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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