can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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