OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
