Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
