she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
