The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize