Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude. I can hear the air.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize