Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mom said you looked used
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
