so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
