Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

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(614): View more from Ohio

All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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(714): View more from California

sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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(562): View more from California

Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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(435): View more from Utah

The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?

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