I want to have your abortion
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
