My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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