i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize