I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
