Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
