in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
