The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
