Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
