Nicole vs. Life
I wish I only lived at night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
