porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
