It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
