I bet he comes in French.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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