Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
