I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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