Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
