i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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