I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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