So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
In America we eat man semen.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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