Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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