Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
