pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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