I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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