basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
