He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I looked at my own cervix.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
