im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
