I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
