just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
