If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
