just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
