so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
