I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize