Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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