I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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