Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
